It's stupid, though, because there's nothing I can do about it, other than give in to the urge to call every once in a while (but I don't know if that would be cool or not) and... What's the point, really? Just another thing to fuck up?
Even if I'm actually good enough (which is highly unlikely), so many things stand in the way: location, age, friends, family.
I want to go back to where I was a week and a half ago, believing I had no heart or soul. I don't want to be so human.